Q. Why does it take two weeks - sometimes longer - to ship out orders?
A. We’re busy.

Q. Seriously?
A. Seriously.

Q. Busy doing what?
A. We’re busy shipping orders. Look, we have a great product and a really cool, well designed, historic, collectible watch. It comes with a Limited Lifetime Guarantee. And it supports the best Presidential candidate, Barack Obama. I’m sure if you ordered a John McCain for President watch, you could probably get it the same day.

Q. Will you ever sell John McCain for President watches?
A. No.

Q. Really?
A. Never.

Q. Can you give me one reason why you wouldn’t sell a John McCain for President watch?
A. Sure.

Q. Can you give it to me now?
A. Oh, sorry. Well frankly, he wouldn’t make a very good President. Look, McCain was definitely a war hero, we’ll give him that. But he not only supported the War in Iraq, he thinks it could go on for another 100 years. We’ve already lost thousands of precious American lives, almost thirty thousand of our brave men and women who have fought valiantly for our country have been injured, families have been disrupted, it has cost a trillion dollars so far, much of it going to Bush and Cheney sham companies, we’re in an economic crisis now, we haven’t been able to use that money to protect our country from terrorists, there’s never going to be a peaceful settlement, much less a political settlement, and…

Q. OK. OK. I get the picture.
A. That wasn’t a question.

Q. Can you give me one more reason why John McCain wouldn’t make a good President?
A. George Bush supports him.
A. OK, now I see what you’re getting at.

Q. How do you make a vodka gimlet?
A. We don’t answer questions like that.

Q. Why is that?
A. We only answer questions about Obama for President watches?
A. Oh, sorry.

Q. What does it mean when you say these are Limited Edition watches?
A. They’re limited by how many we can sell.
A. That seems fair.

Q. Do you stand behind your watches?
A. Well, no we don’t.
A. Hey, clever use of italics.
A. Thanks. But while we don’t stand behind our watches, our manufacturer, Image Watches, Inc. does. So, if your watch fails to be accurate (like George Bush or Dick Cheney for the last 7 years), you can return the watch to the manufacturer, Image Watches, Inc., and it will be repaired or replaced at no cost to you., except for a $5.95 shipping and handling charge that we’ve cleverly hidden in this paragraph.. (See Lifetime Limited Warranty on this website for full details.)

Q. Wait, isn’t there a way to get the watch repaired or replaced FREE, without even paying a shipping and handling charge?
A. Oh, you saw that, huh? I thought we did a good job hiding that in Lifetime Limited Warranty.

Q. Sorry, it caught my eye when I was flipping through the website. Something about the fact that the watch will be repaired or replaced free if it breaks down within the first year or something.
A. That’s not exactly right. For full details, check the Lifetime Limited Warranty.

Q. What is the height of the world’s tallest mountain?
A. Now, you’re just getting annoying.

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